Your connection in a very high place

Observant Jews say it every morning, one of their very first prayers. Most Jews sing it at the end of Saturday morning and holiday services.

When you say it in the morning, you probably rush through it. When you sing it at the end of services, you can choose from a wide range of melodies and probably get caught up in the tune, rather than the words. In short, you probably hardly think about what you’re saying or singing.

Yet the beautiful prayer “Adon Olam” is quite breathtaking in its message. Take a closer look.

“Master of the Universe
Who reigned before any form was created … He … will reign alone.
It is He Who was, He Who is, and He Who will remain, in splendour.”

We’re talking about a really awesome Being here. A Being “without beginning, without end.”

And yet:

“He is my G-d, my living Redeemer, Rock of my pain in time of distress. He is my banner, a refuge for me.
… G-d is with me, I shall not fear.

Wow. The Master of the Universe, the creator of everything, is involved in my daily life. He knows everything that has happened to me, that is happening to me and that will happen to me. Little, insignificant me matters to Him.

So maybe when bad stuff happens, it’s not because G-d isn’t watching. Maybe it’s because the bad stuff has to happen, for whatever reason. And I can take comfort in knowing that G-d is watching — and that’s why I will get through it.

Idea stolen from Rabbi Aharon Eisenberger, BAYT.

Prayers unanswered? That’s because G-d loves you.

Stolen from Rabbi Eisenberger of the BAYT.

Let’s say your best friend asks you for a favour. You will do anything he or she asks, but even though the favour is perfectly legal, will be easy to do and won’t take you long, you just know that the end result won’t be good for your friend. You tell your friend that you don’t think it’s a good idea. Your friend says “Yes, I know. But I really need you to do this for me.” You may try to persuade your friend again, but eventually you shrug and, because you love this person, you do the favour.

Now let’s say your 8 year old child asks you for a favour. He wants the latest release of the video game “Car Hijacker and Cop Killer”. It’s rated mature, for adults only, but your kid tells you that all his friends have it. And besides, your kid says, he has enough money from his birthday to buy it for himself. All he wants is a ride to the store. You refuse. You also tell him that you will not allow him to buy the game, even if he does use his own money. He nags. He screams, he shouts. He pleads. He begs. You remain adamant. You know that this game would not be good for him and you will not let him have it, no matter what. You don’t even feel the need to explain your reasoning to him. You simply say “No, and that’s final.”

Now think. Who do you love more? Your friend, for whom you did the favour. Or your kid, to whom you said no?

It’s a lot like that when it comes to prayers. We may not understand why our prayers aren’t answered, but we have to believe that there’s a reason why “Our Father in heaven” is saying “No, you can’t have it”.

Can’t agree with your significant other? Divine!

(Stolen from Rabbi Baruch Taub, Beth Avraham Yosef of Toronto Congregation; from a class delivered about 2 years ago.)

Most of the time, you and your significant other (SO) think alike. But there are some things you’ll just never agree on. They may be big or small issues, but you just don’t understand why the other person can’t see things your way. (We both know your way is the right way.) So let’s think about this.

No two people in the world look exactly alike. Sure, you may have a doppelganger somewhere who looks a lot like you. But nobody looks exactly like you. There’ll always be some differences and people who know you well will always be able to recognize you, even if you’re standing right next to your “twin”. Talking about twins: have there ever been two twins whose parents couldn’t tell them apart? Probably not.

Well, there’s something else that makes every person unique. Just as no two people in the world look alike, no two people think alike either. And as one famous Rabbi put it, when last did you get mad at someone because they don’t look like you? Now, why are you getting mad at them because they don’t think like you?

Even if you were first attracted to your SO physically, you were also attracted intellectually and spiritually as you got to know each other better. So next time you find yourself getting frustrated because your spouse refuses to see something your way, remember that one of the reasons you chose to spend the rest of your life with this person was because of the way they think.

Let’s look a little deeper.

When G-d created Adam—man—He created him alone. There was no woman, and no other men around either. Among all the creatures on the earth, big and small, Adam was unique. Even when G-d decided that Adam shouldn’t be alone, He didn’t create another man. He took a rib from Adam and created a woman. Adam—and every man and woman who came after him—remained unique.

This is one of the ways we’re created “in the image of G-d”? G-d is unique—and so is every individual man and woman. So you could say that every person’s uniqueness is also their own tiny spark of the divine. And next time you disagree with your SO, remember this point. Maybe your SO isn’t being difficult. Maybe he or she is just being divine.

Do your morals and ethics go out the door when you do?

We probably all know somebody who’s incredibly pious. You know the kind of person I mean. They go to a place of prayer – whatever that may be for them – follow all the rituals, and have no hesitation telling everybody else what to do.

And then you meet one of these people in the outside world. Maybe you do business together. And it doesn’t take you long to discover that things are very different when they’re not inside a holy setting. You quickly realize that you cannot take anything this person says on trust. You have to watch every nickel, every dime, every cent.

There’s something very interesting about this in the Bible. Immediately after handing down the Ten Commandments, the holiest set of rules man has ever received, G-d dictates to Moses a set of very detailed laws governing civil life, between man and his fellow man. We are told how to behave in business dealings, what security we’re allowed to take when we loan somebody money or an article and more. There’s also a lot about capital punishment and damages payable in civil cases – the famous “eye for an eye, tooth for a tooth” passage. Incidentally, the Bible does NOT tell you to blind someone who has cost you an eye. Its intention is that you are entitled to monetary compensation for your loss.

Today, all this strikes us as really strange. We expect a clear separation of church and state, and these laws clearly belong under the definition of “state”.

But the Bible is giving us a different message. By detailing these laws immediately after the Ten Commandments, it’s telling us that we’re expected to treat each other with exactly the same degree of honesty and openness that we treat G-d. We don’t lie to G-d, we don’t try to cheat Him, because we know we’d never get away with it. In contrast, we may sometimes be tempted to be “creative” when it comes to man-made laws because we think we can get away with it. But we may think twice if we realize that no matter what, Somebody’s watching ….

And you have to keep the faith

You know how you feel when you start something new and exciting? Maybe it’s a new class, a new gym membership, a new diet, or even a new commitment to your faith.

At first, it’s exciting. You’re committed. You want to do everything to make this work because you want to reach the goal you’ve set for yourself. You want to be slim, buff, more learned or closer to G-d. And in the beginning, you do make it work. But after a while, you bend one of the rules, skip one of the classes, do something you’re not supposed to do, or don’t do something you are supposed to do. And pretty soon, you’re right back where you started from, or worse. It happens to the most committed.

There’s something very interesting about this phenomenon in Exodus, the second book of the Bible.

The Jewish people have left Egypt, they’ve crossed the split sea on dry land and they’ve arrived at the foot of Mount Sinai. Now, they’re preparing themselves for the most spectacular event in history. G-d is about to reveal Himself to the entire people, in an awe-inspiring spectacle of sight and sound. It’s a story that will be retold for generations. And if you were telling it, you would probably begin by saying “On that day …”. After all, it happened more than 3,000 years ago.

But that’s not how the Bible tells it. The Bible says “On this day …”. See the difference? “This day”. Not “that day”, in the distant past of humanity. This day. Today.

With this one simple word, the Bible tells every Jew to believe and behave as if he or she was personally redeemed from slavery in Egypt, and was there at Mount Sinai when G-d revealed Himself and His laws. It didn’t happen 3,000 years ago. It’s happening now. Today.

No matter how difficult life may seem at times, no matter how mundane and boring it may become to say the same prayers or do the same things day after day, if we strive to make every day feel like the first day, we can recapture the excitement, the motivation and the determination to succeed.

Or, as that well-known piece of popular psychology tells us, we have to live every day as if: “Today is the first day of the rest of your life.”

Sometimes, you just gotta have faith

(First part stolen from Rabbi Shraga Simmons of Aish Ha’Torah.)

Have you ever faced a major decision? One that would change your life completely? On the one hand, you had the comfortable, the familiar, the everyday. On the other, you had excitement, challenge, something new. All the signs pointed to the new. Everything seemed to be telling you “Do it!”. You were tempted. But it was so difficult to decide….

What did you do? Did you settle for the old familiar life you know so well, or did you take the plunge into the dreaded unknown?

After finally being delivered from Egypt, the Jews had arrived at an impasse. Behind them, Pharaoh and his army in full pursuit. In front of them, the sea. Some were tempted to go back and face Pharaoh’s inevitable punishment, in exchange for a return to their old lives as slaves. Others watched as Moses held out his wooden staff over the sea — and nothing happened.

One lone Jew, Nachshon from the Tribe of Yehuda, walked forward. And even though the sea still refused to part, he kept going. Tradition tells us he waded in right up to his nostrils. Only then did the miracle occur. Only then did the sea finally part, allowing all the Jews to pass through on dry land, then closing up again behind them to drown Pharaoh’s army.

Nachshon was the one Jew among them all who knew for sure that there was no going back. He faced the future with certainty. He faced the future with faith.

(Second part stolen from Warren Bee – Another lesson in the importance of faith).

The Jews have left Egypt, the sea has split for them, and now, their provisions are beginning to run out. They complain to Moses, who takes their complaints to G-d. Next day, manna from heaven. The ground is covered with it. Moses instructs the Jews to gather only what they need, no more, no less.

But some Jews don’t think the miracle will continue. They’re still not convinced that G-d is protecting them, so they gather as much manna as they can, even though they and their families could never eat it all. But the next day, the extra manna is rotten, crawling with worms. They have to go out and collect again for that day.

And so it continues – except for one day every week, the sixth day. On the sixth day, every Jew is instructed to gather a double portion. Miraculously, this double portion doesn’t spoil. It keeps for the Sabbath, eliminating the need for anyone to work on the day of rest.

Moral of the story: G-d will give you what you need. It may be less than you want, but it will be all that you need. Have faith.

Things not looking so good from where you stand? Stand somewhere else.

Partly stolen from Rabbi Avraham Witty.

It’s Passover. The first one, ever. The Jewish people are still slaves in Egypt, but they’ve been told it’s about to end. Moses and Aaron have instructed every Jew to slaughter a lamb and paint some of the blood on the inside of their doorway.

Just a sec … “inside”? Yup. Inside.

But didn’t we learn that the whole point of the blood on the doorpost was to identify which houses belonged to Jews, so that those houses could be “passed over”? Surely the blood should have been outside?

Let’s think about this. So far, Egypt has been subjected to 9 plagues – and not one of those plagues has affected the Jews living in Egypt. They didn’t get boils, their water didn’t turn to blood, their homes weren’t invaded by frogs, their fields weren’t devastated by locusts. The Bible even clearly tells us that when plague #9 – darkness – descended on the land, only the Jews were spared from the blackout: “But for all the Children of Israel, there was light in their dwellings”. Clearly, G-d knew exactly where the Jews lived.

Obviously, the blood on the doorpost wasn’t a sign for G-d because He didn’t need one. So it must have been a sign for the Jewish people. And they sure needed it.

You see, the Jews had been slaves in Egypt for more than 250 years. When your parents, grand-parents, great grand-parents and so on were slaves, and you’re a slave too, it’s hard to believe that you’ll ever be anything else. And even though Moses has been going around telling you that you’ll soon be free, you’re not so sure. In fact, things have become worse since he started stirring up trouble with Pharaoh. Now, instead of just having to make the bricks you’re about to use, you also have to gather the straw you need to make them.

That’s why the Jewish people needed a sign – and it’s hard to think of anything more dramatic than blood on their doorposts, especially lamb’s blood. The Egyptians worshiped sheep, yet here the Children of Israel were, eating roast lamb and staring at the blood of a sheep on their doorpost. If that didn’t wake them up, nothing would. With this sign facing them as they ate their last meal as slaves, the Jews began to believe they could be free. They began to believe they would be free. And because of that belief, they were ready to follow Moses when Pharaoh finally told them to go.

It was all a matter of perception. Believing they were free, the Jews become free.

Things still work the same way. To borrow from the old cliche, if you believe your glass is half empty, it will be. You’ll only ever see the emptiness in your life. But if you change your perspective and look at your glass as half full, then you’ll have a lot to feel good about. So if you don’t like the view from where you are right now, maybe it’s time to stand somewhere else.

The secret to instant wealth

There’s a TV show in Canada where inventors, entrepreneurs and dreamers can pitch their ideas to a panel of multi-millionaire business people. If the rich folks like the idea, they may invest in it, in return for a share of the business. The show is so successful, it’s been cloned under a different name in the US, but some of the panel members are the same.

On the Canadian show, there’s one multi-millionaire who will sometimes help out a dreamer, with little or no expectation of return. But the others all want payback. One of them is brutally honest about it. “Show me the moneeeeee!” is his mantra.

Which all goes to prove that King Solomon was surely a wise old king when he said “He who has one hundred will want two hundred”. The multi-millionaires on our TV show prove it. Even though, in this lifetime, they could never spend the money they already have, they’re looking for more. Not that there’s anything wrong with that, of course. It’s how our society works. But it doesn’t really help the rest of us who aren’t multi-millionaires.

(The following was stolen from Rabbi Jonathan Rietti’s talk on “The Science of Happiness”, available here. )

Our problem is that we all tend to count the money we don’t have, rather than the money we do have. We believe that as soon as we make the next dollar, ten dollars or ten billion dollars, we’ll finally be happy. But will we?

That’s why King Solomon concluded that the truly wealthy person, and the truly happy person, is not the one who has everything, but the one who’s happy with everything he has.

In other words, it really is time to count your blessings – the ones you have. Look at the people around you who care for you, look at the life you’ve built for yourself so far, look at the things you own and be thankful for what you have.

You’ll feel like a billion instantly. And that’s a promise you can take to the bank.

Men are from dirt, women are from …

Stolen from Rabbi Yossi Michalowicz of Westmount Community Shul, Thornhill, Ontario, Canada. (Thanks for a great one, Rabbi.)

If you want your relationships to succeed, you need to know what men want and you need to know what women want, at the most basic level. And to know that, you need to understand the most significant difference between men and women. (This counts for all relationships, not just your closest ones.)

Fortunately for us, the Bible explains it all – and with a little help from the Bible commentators, it’s not that difficult to grasp.

We start at the very beginning, in Genesis, with the creation of the first man and woman. We all know the material G-d used to create man, don’t we? Yup, dust, dirt, nothing else (the guy who said men are from Mars was wrong. Men are from earth, literally.) And what material did G-d use to create woman? Not dust, dirt, earth or soil. He used man’s rib. He literally carved woman out of man.

So what does this mean?

It means that man knows he is nothing but dust, and to dust he will return. That’s why he spends his entire life working to prove that he’s NOT nothing. He hunts down the perfect job, the perfect woman, the perfect car, all to achieve the one thing he wants more than anything else: respect. Because more than anything else, respect says to him “You are not nothing.”

Woman is different. She knows she’s something. And she values that something very highly. She works to protect her “something-ness”, her individuality, her uniqueness – and all to achieve the one thing she wants most: appreciation. Because appreciation tells her that “Your something-ness is recognized.”

And that’s the simple secret to successful relationships. When you’re in any kind of relationship with a man, show him respect. When you’re in any kind of a relationship with a woman, show her appreciation.

You’ll be astounded by the results.

Gezundheit

Stolen from Rabbi Neil Cohen.

Every wondered why we always bless someone who sneezes?

It goes all the way back to biblical times. Apparently, before Jacob’s time, people didn’t get ill before dying. They simply died. You’d be walking down the street when “poof”, your time was up.

But Jacob had a lot of business to attend to before he died, and he wanted to be sure he had enough warning before the fateful event. So he prayed for a period of illness before dying. His prayers were answered and he was therefore able to bless each of his twelve sons, as well as Joseph’s two sons, and leave full instructions for his own burial. Only when he had done all this did he “draw his feet onto the bed” and expire. (Of course, his sons did exactly what he had asked and buried him next to his father and mother, grandfather and grandmother.)

But to get back to “Gezundheit”. Apparently, before Jacob, the way you died was by sneezing. You see, G-d gave man and woman life by breathing a soul into them, so it was only logical that a quick exhaled breath – a sneeze – would reverse the effect. And that’s why we automatically bless someone who sneezes.